Season One Done

Yuck. 0-6.

I was supposed to play one last match today but the other team had a player get sick at the last minute and they needed to default a court. Not that it would have made a difference.

I think it was good for me to just sit and watch some 3.5 tennis though. I actually believe I can do this now.

Truth

There are a bunch of people up in arms about ... stuff. It's nothing all that new.

Racism ...

sexism ...

politics ...

economic theory ...

theology ...

... and I'm just smiling right now. I worry a little more than I should, maybe ... but I know that the truth just is. No amount of protest or voting or legal wrangling or dishonest science or rhetoric or desire can change it.

Remembering that always helps me relax just a little.

Dare ya to just stick on this one for a bit

Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.
Iris Murdoch

Sea Ice - really I don't care so much. This is Iowa.

It seems some of the recent global warming frenzy may have been based upon faulty data.

Oh, no! The ice is melting! The ice is melting!

Fact: The two articles above cannot both be true.

Fact: One of them must be WRONG!

Liklihood: Global warming enthusiasts will be undaunted by the discovery that their projections were based upon flawed data.

Prediction: Increased Sea Ice will become a new indicator of global warming -- wait! I think it already is!! ... I'm not much of a scientist really, but it does seem a little weird that all roads lead to the same findings. It makes me wonder whether some scientists are really salesmen. (no offense to salesmen intended)

How do we get judges removed again??

"When the judged sentenced the former elementary school principal from Harlan, he used the words "dehumanizing and demonizing."U.S. District Judge Robert Pratt was not talking about Stroschein. He was referring to the sentence.Pratt used the sentencing to renew his criticism of mandatory prison terms set by Congress. He said such requirements negate a judge's common sense and judgment." -- from today's Des Moines Register

I must disagree. I think we need mandatory minimums to protect us from this judge's lack of common sense. ... and I think we should watch this guy a little closer since he apparently doesn't think soliciting little girls for sex is bad enough to warrant 10 years in prison.

The demise of Black Cherry Vanilla Coke

Every time I find something I like it seems to get discontinued. The other examples are a bit fuzzy just now, but they'll come back to me later.

Black Cherry Vanilla Diet Coke has been gone for quite a while now, but there is (was) a corresponding Bonne Bell lip gloss that's just the right little bit of tint to accompany the casual baseball cap type of outfits.

I always grab them when I see them -- usually in a 7-pack containing other 'soda' flavored sticks, but when I was at Target today I noticed they've got some new packaging and there's no more Black Cherry Vanilla. Very sad.

Back2School

It's Friday! ... I sorta didn't realize how much stuff I postponed until 'the kids were back in school', so it was a kinda nutty week. I haven't been HOME one night this week!

Arg.

Collin passed his permit test on the first try, so now we're riding helplessly along in the passenger seat while he learns how to drive. I'm so not a good driving teacher!

Please open the schools!

I want to vote for year-round school with no more than three weeks of vacation at the most. Somebody PLEEZ run for school board and get this maternal sanity conservation issue passed soon!

***

I haven't been posting cuz I was thinking I should focus my efforts on the annual Farrell Update (silly Christmas Letter) but I just haven't done it and it's not that there isn't any material, it's just that I have a case of writer's block.

***

We did survive Christmas and I did find a few nice peaceful days in there somewhere, but I want my regular life back now. Seriously:-)

I'd write more, but SOMEBODY is hungry. I'm not even kidding.

Lost Kitty, Found Kitty, Dead Kitty

The saga of the Farrell (not feral) cats continues.

Sora, a.k.a. loudmouth, wandered away sometime in mid September and after a call to the city shelter and a few weeks we figured he was gone for good. I suggested to the kids that someone from Glen Oaks (the gated community accross the road) probably kidnapped him and he was living the indoor cat life now. Turns out I wasn't too far off.

Kinnick, the smallest of the spring kittens remaining, disappeared mid November, and a call to the city shelter revealed that he had been picked up near our home.

"I've got your orange and white cat too." (sora/loudmouth)

Surprise! after two months he was not only there, but fat and lazy and up for adoption!

He was living the indoor cat-life afterall, though the accomodations were different. The city shelter isn't what you'd expect. They don't keep the cats in cages, they just let them roam around. It's amazing to me that they all seem to get along.

Less than a week later, Jocelyn goes out to the barn on her way to the stop and comes back with a dead and partially frozen cat. Kinnick. Bummer. I have no idea what happened to him -- some disease or another I suppose. He's never seemed to be the healthiest cat:-(

Why my daughter does not share the almost universal aversion to carrying dead animals around I don't know. Poor kitty.

So we're back to five again, and no, they're still not allowed in the house!

Marking the Divide - Homeless in Iowa

The de-struction of the homeless shanties continues today ... as the snow falls ... someone should be writing a screenplay or something.

We're assured that there is shelter space available, but for some this will be unacceptable and they will stubbornly camp, and hopefully not freeze, though I'm sure the existence is anything but comfortable. (wouldn't it be better to head South? ... just sayin')

What's the solution? Why is the homeless shelter not an option? I've seen people get on their feet with the assistance of the shelter and social services advocates. The assistance in place can and does work. Why won't some people do what they need to do to survive and at what point do we leave people to their choices OR declare them incompetent and make decisions on their behalf?

... but the point here is the break from reality/delusional thinking now being promoted by our lovely local newspaper (some synonym for newspaper beginning with L would have been fun here but none comes to mind) Today we're quoting the benevolent builder who may sue the city and somehow believes it unjust to tear down the structures. We're also quoting one of the displaced as he describes the structure as his home. See ... here's where we break down. How do these people not grasp that there's a problem with building a home on land that isn't yours and believing that one possesses any rights of ownership. I have to side with the city on this one, and question whether the folks organizing to sue would care to host a homeless hut on their lawn. No? ... okay, so ... can I say hypocrite!?

We have a choice, but it's not the one you think.

Which is more important, ensuring the personal freedom of individuals or ensuring that no one goes without dinner and sleeps indoors? I don't believe we can have both.

Des Moines Homeless back out on the streets

Some days it's hard to be a republican - Christian.

There are homeless camps 'down by the river' in Des Moines. I haven't visited them personally, but had been to the Churches United shelter a few times -- you really can't draw a box around these homeless folks. They're not all the same.

Some catholic guy organized a few people to build shanties for them out of scrap lumber and stuff. No plumbing, no electricity, but four walls (I'm guessing) and a woodburning stove. Not much, but a step up from a cardboard box or dumpster or tent. The buildings were not up to code, of course, and they were on city property too, another problem ... some dude kicked over a propane heater in his sleep and ... BOOM ... eviction notices and the dismantling of these 'homes'. I won't argue that they shouldn't be torn down. You can't just build something on somebody else's land. But you can't just push people aside either.

Interesting to note that it takes 60 days (I think) to evict someone from a rental property and 6 months to foreclose on a home in Iowa. If you live in a shack down by the river you get nuthin.

I tend to run on the jaded side of things -- not really that much of a bleeding heart and more of a get a job and get your act together sort of thinker, but seriously, all these building codes and taxes do an awful lot to keep the cost of shelter out of range for a minimum wage earning single soul.

Snow Turkey!

The kids are back at school after 5 days off. FIVE DAYS!!! Ugh!

Except for Wednesday I kept myself away from work-work and tried to just hang out with the family. Jocelyn and I went on a country-style shopping trip with Aunt Tammy and Grandma K. on Saturday. Lets just say it was a 'new experience'. :-)

The first stop was at a barn on a family farm in Guthrie County ... sorry I forgot the name of this one, but it was basically like a folkart giftshop in the middle of nowhere. Aunt Tammy ran into her best buddy from H.S., so we were there for awhile. Jocelyn and I finally took refuge in the car because alternating between the scented candle smell inside and the piggly wiggly smell outside (we were on a real actual farm) was bothering our city-sensitive noses.

Then we stopped at Chuck's Bargain Barn. It's another similarly situated barn-type building right next to someone's farmhouse and otherwise out in the middle of nowhere. Chuck (I assume) must have hit every garage sale, estate sale and auction in the state since 1965 and has something close to 4000 square feet of STUFF to show for it. If you're missing a piece from your 1970's libbey glassware, corelle casserole set ... or if you just like funky colored glass and mother's day collector plates ... Chuck probably has it.

Interestingly enough, we were not the only shoppers.

There are definitely two Iowas!

We got our first snow Saturday night and Sunday too ... a nice slippery - slidey sort that should provide a nice boost to the towing and autobody shops.

No accidents for us, but we couldn't get up the hill just South of our house at the end of a semi-treacherous drive home from Guthrie. (I love the farm so much that I'd rather risk being stranded in a snowbank than spend the night there) The kids and I walked up the hill while Lance took the alternate route.

And now -- back to work!

Prayer & Encouragement

Prayers and encouragement for my new friend, Didi (see link right) as she struggles to get through icky memories and such.

boys and men

It really creeps me out that it's 'okay' with a certain percentage of our population that teenage boys and middle-aged women are sometimes having sexual relationships with each other. There's the whole MILF lingo and the line of pretty young teachers on the news with accompanying debates about whether it's as bad as the reverse situation which has been almost universally declared to be creepy. Seriously, 14 year old boys are still kids, right?

I have a 13 year old at home and while I know there will be big changes in the next few years I still think the first thought bubble to appear over the head of any woman over the age of 30 who sees my boy should contain the word 'kid' and should definitely not contain the word 'sexy'.

I'm reminded of a comedian who played at Funny Bone every few months when I worked there. His stage name was Uncle Larry and his tagline was, "It's a sick world and I'm a happy guy."

It's worse than you might think Uncle Lar. (sigh)

What's Good about Obama's victory?

Whew! The election is over and I'm grateful the results were clear and decisive and we won't be waiting for recounts and rulings. I do wish the whole thing had turned out differently, but it didn't, and responsible conservatives need to recognize that and resist the temptation to continually re-hash the stuff of campaigns.

Barack Obama will be our next president. I hope he's ready. I hope he listens to all voices and thinks things through. I hope his leadership will be respected. I trust our system of government to work.

(repeat that last sentence as needed)

Barack Obama is our first non-white president. (I've lost track of the most politically correct label ...) This really really really is a good thing. We're barely a generation past the civil rights movement. There's certainly still much racism alive in our country, but clearly it is an attitude that's dying out. If all white americans were racist he could not have been elected. Since he was elected, all white americans are not racist. Some are, still, but we should be celebrating progress. This is a giant step.

Barack Obama is loved by the media. There's something warm and cozy and safe about being in a country that respects its leader. George W. didn't enjoy that. Barack Obama will, and that will be a good thing. The majority of americans swallow whole whatever they hear on the news. For the past 8 years that's been a lot of poison. I don't mean that people won't disagree and question and challenge. Those things are healthy. I hope and pray that those in a position to do so will not degrade the office of the presidency when they do it.

I have a few friends on the left side of the political spectrum. At the end of the day we hope for the same results, it's just that we don't agree on the best way to get there. It's easy to lose sight of that.

Why a Blog is better than a journal on your hard drive

In the past month my family has blown up two laptops! One Mac and one PC. Lance and Myself. Jocelyn's refurbished Thinkpad is still humming along and she uses it to play on club penguin and watch movies and sometimes questionable youtube videos.

I lost some pictures, maybe, and a few hours of work. Lance lost his entire journal:-( ... He shoulda used a blog!!

In my case I knew it was coming and preordered a new Thinkpad, but when it arrived I realized the foolishness of thinking 1gig of memory would be enough to run Vista Business and, well, anything else. Vista and Outlook alone were pushing me to 95% and leaving way too much wait time (potential distraction time) for my ADD self.

After a week of not being able to accomplish a darned thing ... I'm back! WOOHOO! 4gig makes Vista almost tolerable, though I read today that they're ditching it altogether and will soon release Windows 7. 7. interesting.

Our tennis team's first match is coming up on Saturday. Hopefully I'll have a good report!

I'm a little stressball ...

I don't have the rest of the lyrics yet, but I'm thinkin' something to the tune of "I'm a little teapot ..."

So I played a one-match tennis tournament today. I won 6-3, 6-1 ... but I couldn't relax the whole match. I hate stress. I hate stress. I hate stress.

Do you think I can have my adrenal gland removed?

Seriously, can you imagine trying to hit a tennis ball with tunnel vision?!

I was playing much more relaxed, but last week let a match slip away when I was up 6-3, 3-0. It shouldn't be an easy thing to get to that point and lose the match. (6-3, 3-6, tb10-12) ... but I did it.

So I was scared to death of losing this match today. I was trying to tell myself through the warmup that I could win it. ... I won it, but not with anything approaching great tennis. It was a rather slow-motion tennis sort of thing consisting of a lot of floating type shots and a bunch of errors. Yuck. I'm pretty sure we've both had better days.

Another Depression?

Okay, seriously, somebody needs to go back and take a closer look at what it was really like.

True desperation.

This ... isn't even close. What we could possibly be heading toward, still, not even close. This country, culture, nation, isn't what it used to be. It's entirely different. Too different, I'd argue, to make a better vs. worse type of comparison.

Government entitlement programs actually DO provide a safeguard against the actual desperate sort of poverty. I'm not sure when the list of necessities shifted to include the sorts of things that used to be called luxuries. I don't have the best attitude about this, probably ... so I won't make a list ...

I'm struck by the news this morning of a murder/suicide (a n o t h e r ONE) somewhere in a gated community in California. Did this happen before? ... during the GREAT depression? ... did it happen with so much frequency? What was really going on in this ... family?

Are people less resourceful ... tough ... capable ... than we used to be?

Are we less resilient? I'm afraid so. I'm AFRAID so.

If conditions in this country were to sink to a level in any way similar to the early 30s ... I'm not at all comfortable we'd survive it.

We've given people quite a safety net ... foodstamps ... foodbanks ... wellfare ... shelters ... title 19 ... and maybe more. I'm no expert on this stuff, but am somewhat greatful for its existence.

The real poverty we face is in our hearts, not our wallets. The government can't give us the confidence and determination and courage and discipline we need to get by in a tough world. People are hurting. More people may soon be hurting. Money can't fix it.

All this cuz I'm a little annoyed that the "news" scares our kids into thinking the sky is falling ... again.

Change. Yeah, right.

Voter Qualification

I haven't had much to say lately. I can't sit still long enough I guess.

I just read a NY Times piece that I won't bother to link that suggested that all of the foreclosures are going to affect the election since so many of the forclosed upon may not be able to vote since they no longer live where they lived and maybe don't get to vote where they used to vote.

Wah!

I have an even better idea. Let's make prospective voters jump through a single hoop:

1. Have an actual legal identity. (i.e. a VISA, MC, AMEX or DISCOVER card)

Seriously, the government has no idea, but VISA probably knows who you are and where you are:-)

I know it would hurt voter turnout if we cut out the dead people and fictional people, oh, and the people who can't get a major credit card, but should they really be voting anyway?

The stuff my mom wouldn't buy me

Remember FrankenBerry, BooBerry and Count Chocula? I begged for them every time the commercial came on, but my mother wouldn't keep them in stock. Once in awhile she'd get Count Chocula for my sister and Franken Berry for me.

Well, today they were at the checkout stations at Target. Impulse buy (sigh). So I just had a bowl of BooBerry and a bowl of FrankenBerry ... probably enough sugar for the day, huh?

Played somewhat better tennis today after a rather harsh a** chewing from coach Gary. Ugh, so I'm pretty much demoted from singles to water-girl until further notice. Crud.

Laundry, Braces and Football

The boy got braces on last Thursday, I still can't figure out where to store extra sheets and towels and blankets in this house and my kid is always off practicing football where he recently ended up with somebody else's pants and girdle because he's kinda pokey and disorganized about getting dressed and getting his bag packed up.

I guess I should be glad he actually still has pants.

The plan was for a lol around the house and do nothing sort of weekend, but Friday night it worked out to have dinner with Fritz and Laura (turns out I hadn't seen Laura since June but see Fritz every Wednesday morning at the post-pigs coffee gathering). Saturday we went to Lou's to listen to 70s Saturday night and drink wine. Small parties are okay with me:-) and the wine went down smooth and easy since I was relaxed and so I ended up even moreso and Sunday ... ouch ... Sunday I pretty much just wanted to curl up in a little ball and die for the first few hours and never did really acheive full speed for the day.

... needed to take a day off from tennis anyhow. My old age is probably contributing to some overuse type soreness in the shoulder area. (the other factor would be the ridiculously mechanically incorrect things I end up doing when I try to hit an overhead) I don't think I've done enough damage at this point to require a big rest or surgery or anything, but the consequences are a little bigger in tennis than taekwondo when one is injured, so I'm really hoping to avoid that.

Did I say before that I was good at smashing overheads when I was a kid? I was. ... that's the way I remember it anyway ... could be they were more often the shorter/in front of you sort that still aren't that tough.

A couple of curiously frustrating matches this weekend too. Friday I got to play the 11 year old again. (the one that hits with more pace than any of the ladies and some of the men that I play with) The first time she clobbered me 1 and 0. In practice the other day we played a tiebreaker 5-10 and another set 1-6. Friday I found myself up 3-1 (possibly because I listened to coach Gary ... maybe) then ended up winning a set 6-1. She didn't really want to play a second set, and maybe I shoulda been happy to stop there too since when we finally did start up again 20 minutes later I lost 3-6 and then 6-10 for the tiebreaker. Still, a healthy improvement over 1 and 0.

Darren and I lost to the Camerons and end up 2nd place on the 2nd division mixed city ladder thing Saturday morning ... then I played another lady off the 1st division women's singles ladder. I'd been thinking about calling her, but she called me to sub for PDL and also wanted to play singles. Turns out I wasn't the person she thought she was calling ... oh well. I was up 3-1 again and really shoulda been able to hold that all the way to 6-1, 6-1 or so, but instead I slipped up and scratched out the first set 6-4 and lost the second one 3-6 and she didn't want to play a third or even a tiebreaker.

What's with the not wanting to finish matches??

Ouch

Proof that I'm not 18. I subbed for a ladies doubles thing Friday. It's kinda weird ... 8 games with each of the other three people as your partner. I won 17 games. ... that after intentionally not winning a handful because I can't stand playing with a partner who makes blatantly bad line calls. Nobody's perfect, but you just can't be calling balls out that were clearly on the INSIDE of the line!! So I'm definitely playing way stronger than last spring.

Anyway, the doubles thing isn't all that physically demanding, so I went from there to cardio with new guy Daniel who leads it more like a practice/clinic than cardio -- which if fine. Preferred actually since the normal pace of cardio makes it tough to hit well. After that I hit for 10 minutes with one of the other cardio regulars.

Later that evening my whole right arm was seized up in a kind of knot. Ouch! At first I was afraid I'd caught a wicked case of tennis elbow, but I eventually got everything loosened up except my shoulder. Kept heat on it for awhile, which helped, and tried to stretch it out. I still had good range of motion without pain but it still just ached and felt tight. (TRIED to get a massage out of hubby-man to no avail)

... took Saturday off ... more heat ... then played a mixed match on Sunday (yesterday) with different racquet (same but strung more recently) and now I feel fine. How's that for weird?!

I did soak in the hottub with my girlie last night ...

I also left the other racquet to be restrung with something softer and 5lbs lighter just in case the super-tight string setup is part of the problem. The fresher racquet felt way different too, so it maybe was just dead strings ... who knows?

I was going for high-middle stringing at 63 within suggested range of 55-65. But my 1/8 grip racquet actually has 50-60 imprinted on it. (who ever heard of a diff't recommendation for the smaller grip!?) That and the string company says to string this string (luxilon ace) 10% looser anyway.

So I'm gonna try something more standard (Prince duraflex 17) at 58lbs and see if I can still hit the ball and if it might feel better.

Oh yeah, Darren and I won 2-6, 6-3,7-5

If I could ...

If I could talk about work here I'd write something that might explain WHY I'm feeling frazzled, but I can't.

If I could figure out exactly HOW the NTRP rating calculations work I'd do that too. It's an interesting puzzle actually. I kinda wish taekwondo would have done something similar. After the league meeting thing I understand the basics, but there are too many unknown variables to pin it down. (I think)

I'll have to self-rate when I 'join' the team on the tennislink site, and/but my self-rating will be superceded by my computer rating from summer tournament play. (IF what the local coordinator person told me is/was correct) ... not sure how the dynamic rating deal can even work if I don't have a starting point. So, I'm thinking she's wrong, actually.

In any case, only matches against computer rated (C,T,B) players count. Of which I've got two -- against the same player. I lost 1-6, 2-6 and then a week later won 6-4,4-6,1-0. Don't ask.

Good grief. I'm thinking once a player is in the system for awhile it becomes fairly stable, but as a new player the whole thing can be a bit, ummm, volatile!

Crud, I think I've been here before!

So, I'm about to blow up in two different directions. They don't seem different, but they are.

... related only in so much as the first one maybe weakened me a bit and left me a bit more vulnerable.

More vulnerable, maybe, but still inevitable. There's a limit to how extroverted an introvert can manage to be. Other factors maybe moved that line an inch or two, but that's all.

It's just me.

Tennis Update

I finally get to play today after TWO WHOLE DAYS of nothing. I did go hit serves for an hour or so each day, but it just doesn't quite seem like enough.

Much needed though:-)

Fighting blue-belt in a tournament this weekend, mostly because there isn't a green-belt division. (i do mean tennis and i figure 3.5 is like blue-belt and i like the tkd language of fighting instead of playing)

The whole coach thing has settled down and I think the current setup is working better as I've really improved quite a bit this summer. I did get a chance to play a practice match with an 11 yr old girl who's aiming to be the next youngster to win Wimbledon. She might be, actually, with a little more work and maturity.

We played a few good points but mostly I got schooled by a sub-100lb little thing who gets out of school early to play tennis. I only got a game, but I think in a couple of months I can make it a match.

Save the Peanuts!

In heaven I'm gonna eat a grilled pbj sandwich every day. I might do alternate days and have grilled peanut butter and banana on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

So, the school peanut policy came home with my daughter yesterday and my bad attitude is resurfacing ... again. It seems so harmless at first, no peanuts, no peanut butter and no foods containing peanuts. It gets quickly complicated by the fact that parents are no longer trusted to make food at home and must buy either pre-packaged crap or pricey pre-packaged non-crap. It doesn't stop there, because the folks who pre-package have to cover their nuts (I mean butts) so there's tons of non-peanut stuff that says "may contain traces of peanuts" including the pre-made and ingredient labeled cupcakes from Target and Dahl's and Hy-Vee. Yes, I checked ALL THREE trying to find acceptable treats for my girly's birthday last spring.

... can't help but wonder how this affects the peanut farmer, the price of a Snickers bar, the continued availability of the Snickers bar ...

I wonder if a decrease in peanut butter sales has any impact on grape jelly sales?

If 1 in 200 persons has a food allergy and only 1-2% of food allergies are of the life threatening variety ... and this includes some foods besides peanuts ... how on earth did we get hornswaggled into banning practically an entire FOOD GROUP to accomodate 1 kid in 20,000?!?!

About not finishing a book

Okay, so I met with potential editor/advisor/helper person and had what shoulda been about an 80 hour project to get the ball moving. I can't do it. ... or haven't been able to I should say.

It's unbelievable the number of distractions that have come my way since March. I sit down with the manuscript and I can't focus -- at all.

I did get some of it changed around and wrote a little bit, but I'm seriously STUCK now.

Grrrr ...

More Batman for fun!

Harvey Dent- “Chance is the only reality in this cruel world. Unprejudiced. Unbiased. Fair.”

Kids have an inate sense of fairness. They know who got more turns on the merry-go-round and who got the most cookies. We think everything's gotta be fair, and when we say fair what we really mean is even.

Life doesn't come out even. We don't all get the same life, the same exact number of fun things and good things and rotten things and painful things. We get life. Beyond that it's either a random assortment of stuff -- or maybe we reap what we sow -- or maybe our lives are full of providencial provision.

We get in trouble the second we pin our belief about the stuff of life on any one of these. It's a little of all three really. Our hometown Olympic hero, Shawn Johnson, didn't win medals because God chose her at birth to go to Bejieng. He gave her some gifts such that she had potential not a lot of other people have, but there are some several hundred other little girls in the USA who have the same physical gifts. Maybe she worked harder. Maybe she had the advantage of better coaching. Maybe her God-given gifts and her very human determination and a little bit of luck all got together so there could be a butter olympian at the Iowa State Fair.

It's not fair, if we consider fair to mean even ... and if we consider the consequences of a fair world on those terms, well, it'd be pretty boring if we were all the same -- if all of our experiences were even.

Grown ups tend to take a different side. Fairness becomes something else. Even isn't fair anymore. We want what we deserve. We expect our hard work to be rewarded and when we see a homeless person we assume they're right where they deserve to be. We need to believe the world is safe and that nothing bad can happen to us because, well -- because we're pretty good and we're generally nice to people and we work hard and we've paid our dues.

But that version of fairness doesn't happen reliably either. Talent often overcomes hard work and sometimes people just get lucky. And the other side of the coin is ugly. If we believe we get what we deserve then what about the bad stuff? Do we deserve that too?

So is chance fair? or not?

Lost and Found

Okay, so I unraveled the mystery of the missing sunglasses. (girlie was left alone in the car too long, claimed the shades and left them at her friend's house) I have reclaimed the sunglasses and still can't figure out how I lost the case in DC, but I did.

I've started cleaning my house, which was left virtually untouched throughout the entire first three days of school. It's not easy to figure out where to start so I'm just going in bursts of 10 things or so.

... and I've gotta fuss just a little about the swamp friend's use of the stupid kiddie tennis balls in cardio yesterday. Pbbbblt!! It's funny for about 3 minutes, stupid for the next 2 and pretty much intolerable after that.

My remaining mysteries for today are both text msg related. (I can't help wondering just now what my life would be like if we only had face2face and landlines with which to communicate)

1. What exactly does it mean when a msg ends with "right in the middle o"? Okay, right in the middle 'of' ... what? Breakfast? Traffic?

Hypothetical question: If one were to cross the center line and hit a big scary truck head on while composing a text message, would the message be sent in its incomplete form or lost as the phone shattered to bits? ... just wondering.

2. Is there any established txt protocol for what to do about erroneously received messages that were clearly intended for a different party? Is it best to ignore them? What if the message was important and doesn't get to the intended recipient because the sender doesn't know they sent it to you?

So again, I'm remembering the old rotary dial phone with the long coiled cord and thinking that all of this modern ease has only made life more complicated.

Joy Busters

Some days it's easier to hang on, ya know?

... and I'm thinking it's a little funny how the big blows don't shake me as much as the little ones sometimes.

I'm in such a funk today, cuz I can't find my sunglasses and my mph gauge on the dash switched to kilometers per hour (which I didn't figure out until after I'd spent a day getting after myself for speeding).

I'm kinda wondering what's up with God these days too. I'm seein' plenty enough evidence of evil lately. It seems to be winning. I guess that's a bigger deal than sunglasses and such, but I still think my steps would be lighter if I could just find my shades!!

First Day of School - Paddling the kids

Seriously, I had no idea! (click link)

Gotta love Yahoo news for bringing new ideas to my attention. I did not know that there was a place in the USA where teachers could still paddle kids. Stunning.

I'm not anti-spanking. I think it's no accident that tushies are relatively soft and able to absorb a fairly hefty swat without injury. ... but I'd prefer to paddle my own kids thank you very much!

***

A hopefully not related topic -- FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL today!

I'll be celebrating at Starbucks in ... exactly two hours and twenty minutes.

Ready, set, GO!!!!

Strangely

The Joker: I believe whatever doesn’t kill you simply makes you… stranger.

The back-to-school panic has begun, and it's one of those occasions that helps to bring my various ... strangeness ... to the surface. (sigh) So try again in two or three weeks should you happen to be looking for me. It's not you, it's me:-)

On the topic of 'things that didn't quite kill us' it seems I've had a run of acquaintances dropping into residential care and/or more intensive outpatient type stuff. It's kinda depressing really, and frustrating too, cuz I still believe it's not the stuff itself that causes the strangeness.

It's the response -- our own and others.

Secrets, shame, silence, self-hatred ...

The snake hisses: sssssssssssssssss

This Joker quote from The Dark Knight is curious I think. --a true twist on the popular cliche 'whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger' no, not necessarily. All too often it leaves us weakened and vulnerable and afraid. I think the Joker had it right this time.

Telling, Forgiving and Healing

I'm convinced more than ever that therapy is really somewhere between 'a waste of time' and 'dangerous'. I'd like to be better at playing along. I know the folks who administer (as well as make a living from) all of this THERAPY have more letters near their names than I do. Some of them are probably even smarter:-)

I might even go so far as to say therapy sometimes works. Sometimes just isn't good enough, and I'm tired of talking to people who've been emotionally battered by bad therapy and/or had their weak/incomplete emotional boundaries trampled to nothing in 'group' therapy.

So I've talked to several people this summer who worry that if they come to SetPhree someone (me, probably) is going to MAKE them speak the toxic words that describe their abuse experience(s) ... or MAKE them forgive their abuser(s) ... etc. Sheesh!

Do I think it helps to unload the secrets? Yes. I think the words are toxic and that the poison is best removed in human relationship, but that need not happen at SP and it might not happen in therapy ... and I don't think the point is to force the words out to acheive healing. I think the idea is to gain understanding that aleviates shame so that the words can come out in a healthy relationship without causing a major traffic accident.

Do I think it helps to forgive? Yes. I think forgiveness is an important (and late) step in the healing process. Jesus clearly says we should do it. I don't think forgiveness should be coerced. I wouldn't think that would be actual forgiveness -- more like some sort of unhealthy emotional pretending in response to emotional blackmail soup.

It's a carts before horses sort of thing. Our work is to love people and introduce them to/encourage them to focus on a relationship with Jesus. He is well qualified to take it from there. ... and when He does, secrets dissolve and forgiveness happens.

Link to Facebook blog page

Click here and then ... shoot ... join or confirm or whatever, just look for signing up sorts of words. It won't hurt, I promise:-)

Knoxville Nationals

Sprint cars, in case you didn't know.

In a former life, like, from age 11 to 18, I didn't miss a race. Sprint car racing was my weekend, every weekend, and I loved every second.

Lance and I got to go to the races last night, one of the qualifying nights leading up to the big deal on Saturday. I won't be there Saturday -- unless someone calls me up and has an extra ticket. Lance isn't really into it, so I'm not seeing any big resurgence in my sprint car involvement.

What amazes me is that Sammy Swindell and Steve Kinser are STILL there. I mean, seriously, it's been twenty-some years! They should be watching from the suites atop turn 2 or 1 or wherever they want. It must still be fun.